One of the great things about teaching is that I get hear myself explain the processes I go through all the time in the studio. This week was the last of a block of classes, and I shared what I know; that I can teach, only because I do. All of the fear, the uncertainty, the joy, I know it. I know the process to get us there, and, after many years of practice, I also know ways to get us out, or move us on. I wrote one of my best tips on the board: KEEP MOVING.
Sometimes I think nothing else matters, both in creative process, and in life, that we don’t get stuck, but keep looking for where we can move, shift, stop from getting frozen.
We also talked about intention; what do you want to experience from making a drawing? I love the space where I can let go of what I think it should be, and get to know what it really is, or wants to be. Today in the studio I felt tired, and a bit bored. I felt like nothing was really working. I felt bored. Then I remembered about our class discussion. About moving.
I picked out a big drawing that is finished, but I don’t love it any more. I ripped it up. Moved it around, stuck it on the wall, turned it upside down. All artists know that point when you’ve killed a drawing; overworked it. Today I did it deliberately, so I could ruin it, and then rip it up. It felt sickening, and great. Getting used to staying with the vulnerable, sickening bits, is one of the greatest parts about a long term practice. There is no way only, only through. And through the process, new things get to be born.
I’m so excited about this new work that is coming through. I don’t know quite what it is yet, or how it’s going to hold together, but I know it’s alive, and I don’t feel bored any more.